Teen Beat

I'm dying. The creative director at Bird where I'm freelancing at most likely thinks I'm some pre-teen girl cause for the 2nd time in a row the New Moon soundtrack was displayed prominently on my screen, as playing while I worked. Goddamn headphones and your inability to hear someone coming up from behind you!!!!

Just yesterday I found out that he'd asked another co worker "is it true Katherine watched New Moon 5 times!?" WHICH I DID NOT!!!

And then this morning I'm trying to show him imagery I've collected for a project I'm working on, and I accidently click on the image on my desktop that I'd entitled "cutie.jpeg" and up pops a gay image of my latest crush. AND TO ADD TO THAT my notes taken from the 1.5 hour conference call from this morning laying prominently next to my mouse depicts mass doodles of stars and block letters and a few sticks of dynamite.

KILL-ME.

I'm so mortified right now. Thank god my SweetTarts and Red Vines for the day were still in my bag. No need to also indicate that I eat candy all day while I'm working.

Happy Wednesday!

I had my ichat icon set to that tiger illustration one day, and was chatting with my friend Gary, bitching about my outfit fail of the day making me look like Beetlejuice. I took a photo on isight to show him how Hot Topic I felt that day when he added a simple element to the photo I'd just sent him and made a different correlation of his own... so hilarious.

Happy Thursday!!!

{Rodarte}

Four eyes

For those of you guys who know me well, you know I hate wearing my glasses and wear them only about two days out of the year. When I wear my glasses, my confidence level is taken down about 5 notches. So the chances of me saying "yes" to things, compared to the usual "no" is very high due to the transformation into a subdued, meeker Katherine. ew.

Anyway I got my vision re-tested recently which meant new glasses. I went shopping for frames and was all happy to find a pair that didn't make me feel completely retarded. I made a newfound vow to try to incorporate glass wearing to give my eyes a break from contacts....

Uh....until I got my new glasses with the new lenses fitted... and holy shit--Coke bottle Katherine. Oh-HAL-no.
I mean, I know my vision has decreased since my last vision check..and I have astigmatism but for the love of god! This will ruin my reputation.

What is up with vision technology... its the 21st century, glasses should be obsolete by now, or at least lenses should be paper thin and not minimize OR magnify the eyes. ONE BIT. ONNE BITTT!!!!!!!!

I was so offended by the product of my own poor vision that I went back to the optometrist to demand that they "try again" and make my lenses thinner, PLEASE. You know its bad when your own dad laughs in your face at your coke bottle eyes complete with subtle green tinted anti reflective coating. UGH! I mean I already have to wear a godamn splint at night, I can't get any hotter.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Tuesday

This was when I'd only made three and I was extremely happy about it, as you can see.

Happy Thursday

-- for James.

Broadcast

Last night I saw Broadcast, one of the bands in my life that I hold close to my heart. I normally don't like to bring my camera to shows cause it gets distracting, but I knew there would most likely be a lovely Julian House video to trip us out, and I wanted to document it. What's shown above is only a fraction of the beautiful visuals that went on-screen.

Trish Keenan is very effective in creating spooky other wordly noise. Music from space. Her voice more ghostly and detached from reality than ever before, sometimes it was hard to tell whether a human voice was even part of the equation. She's a total wierdo. Right before the show she changed outfits into a stark white dress in which I realized was more than just a stylistic choice because she was able to actually become the projection.

All I can say is, the show would have been mind blowing under the influence.

Carl Sagan

I may have screamed, once.

Korissa and I watched Paranormal Activity this weekend. It was totally entertaining for me. I'm sick, I love to be needlessly scared. We sat in a packed theater of people, which is the best way to be watching something scary I think. Everyone's reactions to scary stuff is different.

To my right were two black girls who kept muttering "..oh HAL no, hallllll nooooo" during creepy scenes. Seriously cracked me up.

To my left was poor Korissa who just stared at the screen in catatonic silence while imploding inwards (as she later revealed).

A few rows behind us an anonymous guy let out a dude-scream. And that was my favorite part of the movie hands down.

I think out of all scary movie subjects, paranormal activities is what creeps me out the most. I could care less about villians like Jason, zombies, serial killers, monsters etc. Its all about ghostly stuff and inanimate objects come to life that really freak me out. Dolls (!!!!!!!!), doors opening and shutting without reason, chandeliers swinging, bleeding walls, Ouiji boards that burst into flames, distended voices, etc.

Ugh now that I've successfully creeped myself out, time for bed.

How to make caramels

ingredients:

1 cup heavy cream

5 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces

2 teaspoons fleur de sel

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cup light corn syrup

1/4 cup water

1 teaspoon vanilla

parchment paper

wax paper

expensive candy thermometer

prep:

Line bottom and sides of 9x4 baking pan with parchment paper, then lightly oil parchment. Bring cream, butter and fleur de sel to a boil in a small saucepan, then remove from heat and set aside.

Boil sugar, corn syrup, and water in a heavy saucepan, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Boil without stirring but gently swirling pan, until mixture is a light golden caramel.

Carefully stir in cream mixture (mixture will bubble up) an simmer, add vanilla, stirring frequently, until caramel registers 245 F on thermometer, 10-15 minutes. Pour into baking pan and cool 2 hours.

Timing is everything. The sugar mixture may stay at 230 for a long time before suddenly shooting up to 240°F. As long as you don't let it go beyond 245°F which can happen in the blink of an eye you're good to go. As soon as you see 245°F, wait 5 seconds and then pour. Otherwise you'll end up with toffee... and although toffee is good, if you set out to make caramels and you accidently get toffee you have basically FAILED.

Cutting these is my least favorite part. I actually purchased a pizza wheel to try and cut these into strips. Then I use a small hatchet to cut into smaller pieces and then wrap in wax paper. The pizza wheel is only marginally better than trying to cut a straight line with a kitchen knife.

We are *definately* girls

Friday night we went to the Three Apples exhibit celebrating 35 years of Hello Kitty. Despite the fact that its been eternity since we've all used a glittery translucent Sanrio pencil box, the pop-up store turned us into obssessive and excitable second graders again. The amount of joy a $1.75 Hello Kitty stamp ring can still provide is hilarious.

"From now on my signature is invalid without this stamp"

--Noelle

Damien Hirst

{supremenewyork.com}

Hang all three and its the closest any commoner can get to feeling like they own the actual thing. Almost.

001

Die

I hate limited edition bullshit. Don't ever tell me anything is sold out. I'll kill you.

Fine art

Sometimes all I want to do is retreat to some hippie mountains and throw some pottery all day.. and fire it in some crazy underground kiln I made. It always fluctuates between that scenario and the one where I'm a TA at the printmaking studio and I just file down zinc plates all day and make perfect aquatints.

The colors you use to ink plates are the consistency of lipstick and you mix it on a glass table top with a spatula that is almost as stiff as a razor blade. Its really satisfying to scrape around cause of the blade on glass feeling. You can almost do it all day in a trance-like state.

Also there are some crazy firing techniques in ceramics where the glaze actually has glass shards in it and when you fire your piece in the kiln the glass pieces explode and melt, creating a gradient glazing effect.

Basically I hate work right now if you can't tell.

K-Stars

Fancypants

{Day 2 and Day 3}

Yesterday I noticed something peculiar about Juror #6 who I sit next to in the courtroom. Being that we sit right next to each other I don't really have much to look at but the color of his pants and his shoes.

Having observed him surreptitiously, when we're in the hallway I've written him off as your average mild mannered, unremarkable dork. But then yesterday I noticed his shoes and did a double take.

This man clearly has an affinity for fine Italian shoes. The pair he was wearing yesterday was so elegant, and beautiful that I have to admit I stared at them at every opportunity I could. It was just really wierd cause from the feet up he wasn't very fashionable... so it was a bit incongruous. Anyway it got my attention all right.

I noticed him observing my shoes too so for kicks today I decided to wear my Guissepe Zanotti boots to touch a nerve. He didn't disappoint, today's pair of shoes were even better than the ones he wore yesterday. Checkmate.

My only regret is not taking note of his shoes on Day 1. Now I will never know what that 3rd pair looked like.

Jury duty

{My very important notes regarding the case.}

For the most part jury duty is pretty tedious with vaguely interesting moments mixed in every now and then. I spend most of my time people watching. The downtown courtroom is full of a wide variety of people since jury selection is randomized, kind of like the cross section of wierdos you'd see at the DMV. Lots of different ages, ethnicities, hairstyles, outfit choices...

The past two days I've learned a lot of little things. Most people are lame and full of excuses as to why they can't be a juror. Its no different from watching a kid make far fetched, lame excuses about the whereabouts of their homework. Conclusion: just because you're an adult doesn't mean you magically transform into a person of integrity. I'm still struggling with this fact. Its mind blowing to me that I will still have the same personality make 20 years from now.

Lets talk about the downright hostile types; haters of life. Such as the woman who threw a shit fit in the courtroom when my armrest bumped into hers. When people get really nasty in public my initial reaction is of open mouthed stupor. In the end angry people keep me in check. I don't ever want to be that way. I'm still working on my list of calm but infuriating comebacks to throw in situations like this.

People are social creatures for the most part. It was interesting to observe the interaction of strangers with one another. Complete strangers after a few days with one another will start to reach out and make little bonds here and there. This concept is not that hard for me to grasp. Despite the fact that most my friends consider me to be an unforgiving elitist, I can find something to like in most anyone and as long as I have that I can be civil and get along. Its something I've learned at work.

Its Day 3 of the trial tomorrow and probably the last but I know after two days of keeping to myself its inevitable tomorrow I'll have to muster up a smile of recognition towards the other twelve jurors because we are now a little family trying to decide whether to award the plaintiff one million dollars or three. Geezus.

Michi and Wally 2005

Greydears

Ghey

Tonight a friend told me about her co workers...three guys who went to school together, now work at the same place together and all live in the same apartment as roommates. Yet they all show up in the morning at different times in three different cars...we do live in LA after all.

I find it really endearing. I almost don't want there to be a Yoko one day, breaking up the bromance they have going on.

Uh oh, I've had a few drinks and I'm getting nostalgic.

I incorrectly assumed buying this would inspire me to do my dishes. I don't want to dirty it, so my dishes remain.

I'm not one for extreme cuteness but theres something about two little dots and a smile on an otherwise ordinary object that turns me into a softie.

How come they never tell you that some people don't outgrow things like this? I told Brent about this phenomenon once and he said "Its cause you're getting old Katherine". I wanted to punch him in the face.

I have a pencil box at my parent's house that is a relic into a glimpse of my childhood. All the nice pencils with the dangly tops or holograms remain unsharpened, all the cool erasers in mint condition...

Looking at it makes me think I should have used it all back then instead of saving it, cause somewhere along the lines I grew up and never got to feel that smug feeling while using them to ace yet another vocab test.

As an adult, I'm not one to save anything. If I like something I use it/wear it to death. Theres no point in saving, theres always something cooler around the corner... you may as well enjoy something while its relevant.

Fine. I'll just buy it back.

So that rant about junky shit I wrote last night? I got instant karma.

I bought a beautiful ring of quality today, all sparkles and black crystal and promptly lost it at the Rose Bowl about 3 hours later. Never take your ring off when you wash your hands I guess. I feel like I should punish myself by not re-purchasing it... its the principle... and I need to be taught a lesson...

But you know how I am about lost items. I have to get it back or I'll go crazy thinking about it. I'll just build it up until it turns into the holy grail.

I'm a little embarrassed to go back to the store to re-buy it though. I know the guy is going to ask me what I did with the one I just bought. "you again?" ugh, I'll pin my bangs back and pretend I don't know what he's talking about. I swear its the easiest way to throw people off.

Shitatious Junk

It drives me crazy when I see stuff produced that is shoddily made with cheap parts. There is so much junk in the world already. I hate seeing mass produced crap that continuously litters our lives. When I walk into a Forever 21 I'm overcome with this feeling. The scarier thing is.. we cannot begin to comprehend the sweatshop madness that is behind that corporation that produces bile.

When I see a junky pair of Prada knock off earrings at a Forever 21, I know that behind those 20 pairs that I see hanging, theres probably 20,000 of them produced for distribution to the other stores. Multiply that by 1000 of different styles of earrings available at those stores, 97% of them junk, my head is about to explode.

Its not mass produced goods that I'm complaining about I think its the fact that despite being crummy, energy is still used to produce it. I imagine gears turning at a million rotations a second churning out bullshit and then my mind shuts down.

There was this going away gift I bought a friend when he went away to grad school. I'd seen this cool looking, colorful multi-USB hub featured on blogs everywhere and decided it was perfect to gift a fellow designer, because not only was it aesthetically pleasing to look at on the desk, it was functional too. I was very pleased with myself for having discovered this thing...

Imagine my surprise when I get this gadget in the mail and it weights about as much as a paperclip. When something doesn't have a substantially luxe and expensive weight to it, its a dead giveaway that it is junk in my book. Its quality was akin to something you'd find in the 99 cent aisle at Target (...pseudo USB hub for ages 3+!!!)

Photographed well it looked fantastic but in reality it was a piece of S-H-I-T. Did I mention I plugged it in to see how fast the transfer rate was and two of the five hubs were so weak they were seemingly dead? I mean how dare you? Do you know who I am!?

Nevertheless I wrapped it up as flamboyantly as I could to compensate for the travesty within and gifted it to him the next day because I had no back up gift. I turned red as he turned it over in his hands. In retrospect I probably should have tossed the thing down the garbage chute to save my gift giving reputation.

But this is what I'm talking about. I would have spent an extra $20 on the thing for it to be made better you know? Would you rather toss $40 to the wind or spend $60 for something that will last?

I really hate it when the idea is there, but its executed poorly so that in the end its just wildly offensive.

Coral

I had these coral pieces hidden in my cupboards forever so I decided to make use of them as little vases. It looks kind of underwater, no? Michi is always interested in stuff of nature cause shes stuck indoors with only things like a powerbook G4 and endless cords and chargers to keep her company.

Paul Banks

{image from rollingstones.com}

How does that voice come out of this baby face? But I like it.

Fringe

I made earrings for Korissa.

I don't

Weddings are so stressful. There are so many variables that get in the way of successfully attending a wedding without any mishaps. First off there is the issue of getting dressed up which comes as a huge problem to some people, guys especially. Lets never forget the time AJ impulsively decided to hand wash his dress shirt out of nowhere 20 minutes before we were supposed to be out the door. o-m-g

Then theres the issue of getting to the ceremony on time and in one piece, without getting lost, being stuck in traffic or suffering an early stroke.Bridezillas, please include a visual map of what cathedral you are getting married in if it happens to be nestled amongst several churchy looking buildings. And I'll never forget the time I got so trapped inside a parking garage while the minutes were ticking by, that I almost threw my hands in the air and crawled back in my car to go home. Running around in heels is strangely humiliating and disgraceful.

And finally, once at the wedding, committing to your new environment for the day and having to be on your best behavior in public. This long stretch of time is where alot of drama unfolds. Feeling neglected, I passive aggressively slapped a boyfriend's hand away once and started WW III. But lets face it. Everyone fights at weddings.

Nonetheless, I was happy to attend my friend Florence's wedding last weekend. Unfortunetly, we missed out on the ceremony part cause of a shut down of one very important road in Berkeley due to a Cal football game going on simultaneously but I got to witness what I didn't miss out on while going to art school...frat houses and team sports.

Genius Barf

Ugh, sometimes I really regret buying my mom a laptop. The last few years its become the bane of my existence.. I've become her personal genius bar 24/7. I get irate calls as early as 8AM sometimes, asking (no, demanding) how to get back on the wireless network.. how to back up photos on to an external harddrive, I've even had to talk to the real genius bar on the phone as she was in a mac store getting her OS updated. Wah!! !! !!

And to add to this, now my dad introduces a new PC laptop to the mix and now I'm having to troubleshoot both Mac and PC problems. How the hell am I supposed to know how to help you over the phone regarding a PC interface I have no reference to in front of my own screen? Seriously I'm dying here!

My mom takes it as a very personal offense when the network kicks her offline while she's surfing the web and I have to coddle and assure her that shoddy wireless reception happens to everyone, and that the networks isn't discriminating just her.

Meow!

{Louboutin for Rodarte}

{Louboutin for Rodarte}

{Louboutin for Rodarte}

{Louboutin for Rodarte}

{Dries Van Noten}

I don't wear heels often but I really love all of these because they're so outrageous. I want the Rodarte pair as desk accessory. I think it would make me very happy and inspire great designs.

Before Sunrise

This morning I used a palette knife to spread jam on my toast. Is that completely ghetto or totally arty? I just didn't have any clean butter knives. And the palette knife was just sitting there in my drawer volunteering itself.

I finally watched Before Sunrise. I'll admit I was ready to kind of rip it apart 'cause I'd heard it was basically all conversational... And 5 minutes into it I was already snickering over how 90s Ethan Hawke looked with his goatee and leather jacket...but all in all I think I liked it. It was fairly realistic in its depiction of how two people can hit it off in a short amount of time if the stars are aligned.

I even started getting stressed out for when Julie Delphy and Ethan Hawke had to say goodbye. I haven't had to say goodbye to someone in a long time but it reminded me of how distressing it can be.

Dorm life

In college I convinced my parents somehow that I didn't need to be on the meal plan. It felt too restrictive to me, not that SVA had a spectacular cafeteria with an array of choices anyway. The first week or two of freshman year I lived off of the snacks my mom had bought for me before she went back to OC. 1. dried cranberries 2. Nutrigrain bars. 3. cinnamon graham crackers 4. goldfish crackers. I'll never forget it--to this day I can't really eat cinnamon graham crackers cause its kind of deppressing.

I was too self conscious to eat at the cafeteria, and I was wary of nyc deli food after a bout of food poisoning, so I ate 1-4 until it disappeared. I started putting them all in my freezer at one point because I liked the way everything tasted cold. Wieeerd...

Anyway I never gained the freshman fifteen.. Instead I came home for the holidays 15 lbs lighter and alarming my parents. Little did I know that from then on I'd get weekly phone calls asking me for a rundown of what I ate that day. Seriously.

Being an adult

I don't know what makes you one day truly an adult, but I caught a glimpse of the cupboard where I store towels and bedding and it was in such a state of retarded disarray that the first thought that came to mind was "why do you live your life like this?"

Ahn-nee- yo

"I'd say check out my euro trip fotos on facebook but that would mean you'd have to friend me." --Ed

My brother and I have an agreement not to be FB friends. He doesn't need to see that I actually know people with mustaches and I don't need to see party pics of him with anonymous "chicks". We are private, its chill. Plus I already know enough things about him that make me roll my eyes.

Pop off!

1. I'm over Nylon magazine, I've decided to end my subscription. The ugly content in that one single magazine is...oh my god, unbelievable. From the shamelessly blatant lack of care in the page layouts, to the unforgivingly fugly fashion featured inside. No one should wear a varsity jacket-pencil skirt combo with Lolita white socks and yellow polka dotted stilettos. Now lets all take a moment to visualize what I'd just dictated....seriously, eff off.

Also who is this Peaches Gell-something or another whos always guest editing? Get out of my face you're annoying as hell. At this point the only thing cool that remains consistent from the past is the one spread where they have different artists depict / draw / collage various beauty products. You know what I'm talking about.

2. Am I the only one anticipating with dread, that one final week sometime in September where the whole world turns into a fiery inferno and I want to kill myself in many different ways? Yes, Indian Summer, I am talking about you. And no I am not going to Sunset Junction, how dare you ask me that?

3. Jennifer Aniston. Why? What is her appeal? Why must I look at her simpering face at every newstand, every check out line I stand in. How must it feel to be eternally famous for once having been married to Brad Pitt (who is not remotely attractive to me which makes it all that more puzzling). I'm tired of the girl next door and her eternally unchanging hairstyle + tight lipped non smile combo.

4. Where is a good tidepool when you need one? Once a year I get crazy about wanting to go to a tidepool. A good one. Where?

5. Emma is the best person to road trip with cause she drives 90mph and she pays for all your candy. On the other hand I'm the worst person to road trip with cause I'm a whiny carsickey bitch.

6. I spent over a hundred on a "real" knife and let me tell you--what a joy. All I want to do is chop things into uniform smithereens now. You need onions diced? No problem I'll come over with my knife. I'll even julienne your cucumbers...slash your enemy's tires...

7. I never thought I'd live to see the day where I hear "I like your dream catcher" god w-t-f? what do you say to that? "its not a.... thanks." :T

8. Today was Pilates + Porto's= What the hell, you may as well have not pilate'd at all-day. Is that bad? I was in the area anyway and as a tribute to Emma's ex, I bought 5 (you hear that guys? FIVE) grease laden potato balls, cause I'm rich biatch. Emma, you want one? You can have half. Saving the rest, yep.

Mr. Walter Whiskerpaws

Sometimes I miss Wally.

Furry little thing

Sometimes I think about how wierd it is that a furry grey animal resides in my house with me. When I leave the house it stares at me goodbye, and when I come back home its waiting for me. It hops on all manners of objects and heights following me throughout the entire space. Its really unnerving if you think about it. But then I snap out of it cause I realize its Michi, and I must be writing such an entry cause its so late.

Awkward times with Katherine

Do you remember the time I ordered an automated pet feeder on Amazon?
And then as I picked it up from the mailroom I ran into my boss at the stairs with my giant box.

"Ooh a package! What did you get?"
"....uh Books..(insert needless ramble about books here)"

I spontaneously lied to avoid saying "automated pet feeder" (way, way way too nerdy, and style cramping) and then had to pretend the box was heavy with my imaginary books all the way up the stairs. I even had to decline his offer to help me carry my box cause actually it weighed next to nothing and it would have given me away as a liar.

Afterwards I kicked the box under my desk and crossed my fingers that he wouldn't swing by my desk to check out my new books later on.

Sometimes I feel like Larry from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Coffee Bean Killer

Often times I start my mornings with a coffee from the Coffee Bean by my place. Predictably betw. 9:15 and 9:45am I waltz in there for the same exact thing I've ordered for the last two years.

Anyway there is this kind of creepy middle aged man who is always sitting drinking coffee by the door. 4 out of 5 times he is there when I walk in and creepy eye contact is always made. Almost like he'd been expecting me. Lately on a whim I've started to entertain the idea that this man could very well be a stalker-type, observing potential victims. And he has my routine down pat. One day he will follow me and find out I live right around the corner and come and kill me...

Not that this is a laughing matter! But you have to think.. if this man inspired a blog entry...my suspicions are like 25% legitimate.

What if tomorrow, before I make my exit I point two fingers towards his eyes and mine while saying "I'm on to you!"

Notes of delusions

So some of you know I fasted for 10 days last month.
I was cleaning my desk and i came across some feeble notes I had jotted down through my progress...

Day 1: performance anxiety, dread
Day 2: coffee headache, general weakness
Day 3: preoccupation with food. feeling very sorry for oneself
Day 4: feel GOOD. BAKED ALL DAMN DAY.

This is going to change everything...

Behold, my new food processor... paired with my lovely KitchenAid mixer, I am basically unstoppable now. (ignore Michi)

WTF?!?!!??!

I'd chosen a perfectly good cake for Lily's birthday and the dweeb behind the bakery counter went and ruined it by writing her name out like this.



Take note of that blob. "Oops!" What?

At the time, visions of overturning that cake and stalking out came over me but I remained cool and in control because I'll be damned if one of my hissy fits result in Lily being without a cake on her birthday.

Its been three days since the incident but I'm still sulking, so let me ridicule it some more...

Star Wars? Star Trek? Same difference right?

There are a few statements you can say that will almost always bring about a big reaction from people.

1. "I've never watched Star Wars."
2. "I don't like chocolate"
3. "I don't like kids"
4. "I hate TV"
5. "I'm vegan"

I've never watched Star Wars. Sorry. It just passed my childhood completely, between making Fashion Plates and watching Smurfs. (That Gargamel!) The only tie with Star Wars I have was the time I halfheartedly bought an Anakin Skywalker cereal bowl to pretend I was down with Star Wars, in front of my bf at the time. But enough with your wide eyed stares and your "I'm going to tie you in a chair and have you watch Star Wars in this order, 4,5,6 and 1,2,3"

On the subject of chocolate...its not that I'm a huge chocolate fan or anything. But whenever I hear someone being "ehhhh..." about chocolate I automatically file them three steps away from being a serial killer. (two steps being "I don't like animals"). God live a little, what do you MEAN you don't like chocolate. Stop being such a wet blanket. The fact that I once baked corn bread for a chocolate hating co worker on his birthday.... god, I'm too nice.

"I don't like kids" I'm not *necessarily* speaking for myself here, but do you ever notice that you can't really say that statement without adding some sort of disclaimer or add-on statement? "I don't like kids...well, bratty ones I mean..." "...well except for my nephews, they can be cute.." You have to add on the disclaimer so that the people listening to you will stop bristling and secretly filing you away as a potential serial killer.

"I hate TV" I don't understand this language? What? Get off your high horse, the new season of Project Runway is going to start.

As for vegans, don't even get me started. Sorry... I'm just sayin.

Co workers

Sometimes during lunch you look around at the other tables around you and you just can't help but notice that one wierd mixed bag of nuts table...you know, the table that basically screams "work-lunch!!". You notice them initially cause the first thought that comes to mind is "they cannot possibly be friends."

Reasons being, the vast differences in age range, hairstyles, clothing style and personality. You have that middle aged mother of two, the big bald guy with the soul patch, the manly 'is she or isn't she?' lesbian, the BEBE wearing club girl, the overweight video game dweeb, the random indian guy, the quiet asian intern, the really fat chick, and the mid life crisis metrosexual.

Awkward. You know what I'm talking about. I don't know what it looks like to others when my co workers are having lunch at Islands... I would have never hung with a Carebear in high school but shes alright!

Laundry room drama

Sharing a laundry room is part of apartment living and I can't tell you how much I dislike this. Actually, I can. Two instances where I've had to leave notes and be an anonymous dick. 

"Respect your neighbors?!" Hey dumbass, you talking about me? I'm the one that lives right next doors to the laundry room! 

Sometimes I feel tempted to sign off with "Apt. #110" because sometimes I do want credit for my anger. "Yeah, that tall asian girl in 110? Don't use her Bounce, she'll kill you!!" 

"What, are you BLIND?"

“I can't see things that are right in front of my face. I remember once I couldn't find this little copy machine that my parents had. I mean it was the size of a home printer, so it's not easy to lose. And it turned out it had just been moved to the other side of the room. And my parents were like..."boy, you'll never be a detective" It was in plain sight, but just not where I was expecting it to be!" -- Dana

There are two types of people. Those who actively search, and those who.. don't.

For example, ocasionally when I’m at my parent’s house, my mom will ask me to go to the garage to fetch something. “Can you get bring me the green onions? Fridge, bottom drawer”. Sometimes said items are exactly where she claims they are... Other times, not - but undeterred, I continue to look around the vicinity, up down, left right, in out, until finally I notice them, outside the fridge, still inside the brown paper grocery bag. Whatever. Success.

Ask my brother the same task and what you’ll get is him standing in front of the fridge for 5 non-committal seconds, while staring, glazed donut eyed at the general direction of the item’s location...and then a final verdict. “Nope. We’re out”. FAIL.

Review the diagram I’ve made and decide for yourself where you fall under.

Mean reds

So that last post was just a teaser... apparently I wasn't quite ready to make my full comeback yet. To be honest I've had the mean reds the past few months. I've only recently decided to emerge from my stupor and re-join society because I woke up one morning and realized "holy shit, its April".

I think the first step towards finally acknowledging '09 would be to start off with an intense spring cleaning of my place. Strategically hopping around throughout the place like its booby trapped, and never being able to have spontaneous visitors has finally got on my nerves.

Poor Michi has taken on the roll as some sort of amazing microfiber mitt for dust bunnies, and I'm only a few steps away from appearing on Oprah while one of you guys say "...you would have never known from looking at her, that she lived in such a state!" ugh. 

I think a huge part of losing track of things was in shoving aside my goals. The big ones are a little too scary to talk about right now but maybe I'll focus some light back on some of the small ones and go from there...

1. get a new couch

2. use the much coveted Gocco press I paid a small fortune for back in January

3. go on vacation, domestic or international, just GO

4. start running at the Rose Bowl again

5. commit to a painting from start to finish

6. invite friends over more often

You can breathe now. I've started a new blog. I know life sucked while I abandoned my Xanga two years ago but I'm back. More rants, more road rage, more examples of unjust situations I get tangled in. But this time, with photo documentation...Especially of offenders of parallel parking, abuse of Compact Car spots and annoying barrel shaped co workers. Stay tuned.