Star Wars? Star Trek? Same difference right?

There are a few statements you can say that will almost always bring about a big reaction from people.

1. "I've never watched Star Wars."
2. "I don't like chocolate"
3. "I don't like kids"
4. "I hate TV"
5. "I'm vegan"

I've never watched Star Wars. Sorry. It just passed my childhood completely, between making Fashion Plates and watching Smurfs. (That Gargamel!) The only tie with Star Wars I have was the time I halfheartedly bought an Anakin Skywalker cereal bowl to pretend I was down with Star Wars, in front of my bf at the time. But enough with your wide eyed stares and your "I'm going to tie you in a chair and have you watch Star Wars in this order, 4,5,6 and 1,2,3"

On the subject of chocolate...its not that I'm a huge chocolate fan or anything. But whenever I hear someone being "ehhhh..." about chocolate I automatically file them three steps away from being a serial killer. (two steps being "I don't like animals"). God live a little, what do you MEAN you don't like chocolate. Stop being such a wet blanket. The fact that I once baked corn bread for a chocolate hating co worker on his birthday.... god, I'm too nice.

"I don't like kids" I'm not *necessarily* speaking for myself here, but do you ever notice that you can't really say that statement without adding some sort of disclaimer or add-on statement? "I don't like kids...well, bratty ones I mean..." "...well except for my nephews, they can be cute.." You have to add on the disclaimer so that the people listening to you will stop bristling and secretly filing you away as a potential serial killer.

"I hate TV" I don't understand this language? What? Get off your high horse, the new season of Project Runway is going to start.

As for vegans, don't even get me started. Sorry... I'm just sayin.

Co workers

Sometimes during lunch you look around at the other tables around you and you just can't help but notice that one wierd mixed bag of nuts table...you know, the table that basically screams "work-lunch!!". You notice them initially cause the first thought that comes to mind is "they cannot possibly be friends."

Reasons being, the vast differences in age range, hairstyles, clothing style and personality. You have that middle aged mother of two, the big bald guy with the soul patch, the manly 'is she or isn't she?' lesbian, the BEBE wearing club girl, the overweight video game dweeb, the random indian guy, the quiet asian intern, the really fat chick, and the mid life crisis metrosexual.

Awkward. You know what I'm talking about. I don't know what it looks like to others when my co workers are having lunch at Islands... I would have never hung with a Carebear in high school but shes alright!

Laundry room drama

Sharing a laundry room is part of apartment living and I can't tell you how much I dislike this. Actually, I can. Two instances where I've had to leave notes and be an anonymous dick. 

"Respect your neighbors?!" Hey dumbass, you talking about me? I'm the one that lives right next doors to the laundry room! 

Sometimes I feel tempted to sign off with "Apt. #110" because sometimes I do want credit for my anger. "Yeah, that tall asian girl in 110? Don't use her Bounce, she'll kill you!!" 

"What, are you BLIND?"

“I can't see things that are right in front of my face. I remember once I couldn't find this little copy machine that my parents had. I mean it was the size of a home printer, so it's not easy to lose. And it turned out it had just been moved to the other side of the room. And my parents were like..."boy, you'll never be a detective" It was in plain sight, but just not where I was expecting it to be!" -- Dana

There are two types of people. Those who actively search, and those who.. don't.

For example, ocasionally when I’m at my parent’s house, my mom will ask me to go to the garage to fetch something. “Can you get bring me the green onions? Fridge, bottom drawer”. Sometimes said items are exactly where she claims they are... Other times, not - but undeterred, I continue to look around the vicinity, up down, left right, in out, until finally I notice them, outside the fridge, still inside the brown paper grocery bag. Whatever. Success.

Ask my brother the same task and what you’ll get is him standing in front of the fridge for 5 non-committal seconds, while staring, glazed donut eyed at the general direction of the item’s location...and then a final verdict. “Nope. We’re out”. FAIL.

Review the diagram I’ve made and decide for yourself where you fall under.

Mean reds

So that last post was just a teaser... apparently I wasn't quite ready to make my full comeback yet. To be honest I've had the mean reds the past few months. I've only recently decided to emerge from my stupor and re-join society because I woke up one morning and realized "holy shit, its April".

I think the first step towards finally acknowledging '09 would be to start off with an intense spring cleaning of my place. Strategically hopping around throughout the place like its booby trapped, and never being able to have spontaneous visitors has finally got on my nerves.

Poor Michi has taken on the roll as some sort of amazing microfiber mitt for dust bunnies, and I'm only a few steps away from appearing on Oprah while one of you guys say "...you would have never known from looking at her, that she lived in such a state!" ugh. 

I think a huge part of losing track of things was in shoving aside my goals. The big ones are a little too scary to talk about right now but maybe I'll focus some light back on some of the small ones and go from there...

1. get a new couch

2. use the much coveted Gocco press I paid a small fortune for back in January

3. go on vacation, domestic or international, just GO

4. start running at the Rose Bowl again

5. commit to a painting from start to finish

6. invite friends over more often

You can breathe now. I've started a new blog. I know life sucked while I abandoned my Xanga two years ago but I'm back. More rants, more road rage, more examples of unjust situations I get tangled in. But this time, with photo documentation...Especially of offenders of parallel parking, abuse of Compact Car spots and annoying barrel shaped co workers. Stay tuned.