There are a few statements you can say that will almost always bring about a big reaction from people.
1. "I've never watched Star Wars."
2. "I don't like chocolate"
3. "I don't like kids"
4. "I hate TV"
5. "I'm vegan"
I've never watched Star Wars. Sorry. It just passed my childhood completely, between making Fashion Plates and watching Smurfs. (That Gargamel!) The only tie with Star Wars I have was the time I halfheartedly bought an Anakin Skywalker cereal bowl to pretend I was down with Star Wars, in front of my bf at the time. But enough with your wide eyed stares and your "I'm going to tie you in a chair and have you watch Star Wars in this order, 4,5,6 and 1,2,3"
On the subject of chocolate...its not that I'm a huge chocolate fan or anything. But whenever I hear someone being "ehhhh..." about chocolate I automatically file them three steps away from being a serial killer. (two steps being "I don't like animals"). God live a little, what do you MEAN you don't like chocolate. Stop being such a wet blanket. The fact that I once baked corn bread for a chocolate hating co worker on his birthday.... god, I'm too nice.
"I don't like kids" I'm not *necessarily* speaking for myself here, but do you ever notice that you can't really say that statement without adding some sort of disclaimer or add-on statement? "I don't like kids...well, bratty ones I mean..." "...well except for my nephews, they can be cute.." You have to add on the disclaimer so that the people listening to you will stop bristling and secretly filing you away as a potential serial killer.
"I hate TV" I don't understand this language? What? Get off your high horse, the new season of Project Runway is going to start.
As for vegans, don't even get me started. Sorry... I'm just sayin.
I agree with this post. People who hate TV probably also hate civilization and therefore should go live in a hippy commune somewhere in the boonies and braid hair and fringe vests for fun. For all their lack of knowledge about the world around them (knowledge usually culled from watching TV, news and pop culture and the like) they might as well!
ReplyDelete*er, hippie
ReplyDeleteI think I might agree with everything you said! And by the way, I only saw the Star Wars movies for the first time like 3 years ago and I watched them in the order of 1,2,3,4,5,6. I wonder if that will make anyone's blood boil. AND I actually liked Darth Vader. He was totally the victim.
ReplyDeletedude, i don't like chocolate...
ReplyDelete...
i mean, i don't DISLIKE it but i will never, ever seek it out. like, i would have LOVED corn bread over brownies. in fact, i hate brownies.
IT'S ALL TRUUUUUUE